Passport Picture Drama

Jason, Chaos, Mayhem and I needed to get passports for an upcoming vacation. Seems like a simple enough undertaking... fill out the forms, get the pictures taken, take out a second mortgage to pay for the passports and go order them. Seems easy, right?

Yeah, you haven't tried to get pictures taken of Chaos and Mayhem, have you now?

I went first, by myself, to Walgreens to have my picture taken so I could explain to my little darlings what to expect. (Please note, any terms of endearment used in this entry towards my childen is completely and fully sarcastic.)

A couple of days later, I take my cherubs to Walgreens and go to the photo counter. I explain to the two very nice ladies that I need to get passport pictures taken of my son and daughter. The two nice ladies look at the kids. The kids smile back sweetly at the ladies. One goes and gets a stool for them to sit on and the other gets the camara ready.

At this point it started going downhill. Mayhem sees a toy that he wants to look at and I, who uses every opportunity possible to bribe him into good behavior, explains that he can look at it once he has had his picture taken. Insert Mayhem temper-tantrum here. Chaos, not be be outdone, adds her shrieks. After a few minutes they got tired of screaming and started hitting each other. A display of stuffed animals got knocked down at some point. The nice lady with the stool was now holding the stool in the manner of a lion tamer, trying to keep my angels away from inflicting any bodily harm to her.

I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.

I give up. Take the kids home. Start researching military preschools. Jason decides that we'll give it another try and the four of us head back to Walgreens. Same two nice ladies. Same stool. Stuffed animals display was once again upright.

Guess what? The kids behaved perfectly. Jason looked at me and acutally said "I don't know what the problem was, they're fine."

Yup. I hit him with the stool.

When I went back later to pick up the pictures, the two nice ladies were describing our two visits to another lady. They were all laughing. I don't think the first two ladies are so nice any longer.

xoxo
Deb

Demolition Dergy Update

It would appear that the demolition derby we attended (see previous post) also made an impression on Chaos & Mayhem.

I'm currently attempting to pack for a long get-away weekend to Ocean City. Jason is at work so I'm encouraging the kids to amuse themselves. They are. Nick has created his own demolition derby with his monster trucks and it is being attended by the inhabatants of her various dollhouses and a couple random Disney Princesses.

xoxo
Deb

Career Change

After careful thought and consideration, I have decided that it's time to embark on a new career. I've liked working in advertising and media but I've discovered something I love. I'm going to become a demolition derby driver. Anyone who has seen the condition of my Mazda would agree that I clearly have the driving skills required.


Jason only has his brother, Aaron, to thank for my new career path. For many years Aaron, his wife, Julie, and their various and sundry offspring go to the Cecil County Fair and attend the demolition derby. And for many years, they've asked us to join them. This year, we finally relented. Actually, I decided that Nick would go with Jason while I stayed home with Bree. The conversation went something like this:

ME: "So, you go with him."

Jason: "No, you go."

ME: "No, you go."

Jason: "No, you go."

After about 30 minutes of this, it was decided that perhaps Bree might enjoy the derby as well. Actual discussion: ME: (Literally throwing hands up in the air) "Fine! We'll all go."

And we had a blast. Nick spent the entire derby screaming, "This is SO awesome! I LOVE IT!" Bree was fine as long as she sat in someones lap and they didn't cheer too enthusiastically. Which meant she sat on Nana the whole time.

The only negative was once we were packed into the car to go home, Nick sadly looked at the little toy car that he had carefully selected to come with him to the derby and said, "I didn't get to drive."

I know, Nick. I feel the same way.

xoxo

Deb

Membership = Rocketship?

In my neverending quest to find ways to entertain and occupy Chaos & Mayhem, I have become a big fan of the Delaware Children's Museum.


http://www.delawarechildrensmuseum.org/


A bored child is a scary thing. A bored Chaos usually ends up with marker drawings on everything in sight, including herself and the dog. I'm not making that up. A bored Mayhem generally results in a trip to an emergency room. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. We usually only end up at a minor medical emergency facility. Or they wedge a limb into one of their toys. Or wedge a toy up their nose. These are NOT exaggerations.

Anyway, based on a couple of trips to the DCM, I purchased a family membership. Nick was especially excited by this purchase and has been explaining what a
membership is to Bree. I happened to actually listen to one of these conversations. Somehow, in Nick's mind, a memberSHIP is the same thing as a rocketSHIP. I've since tried explaining that they are two different things and have not had much success convincing Nick that he does not actually have access to a rocketship. My first problem is trying to explain what a membership is to a four-year-old. My next problem is that Bree keeps packing for her trip on Nick's rocketship. I think I'll leave this one to Jason.

xoxo
Deb

Life's a beach... thank goodness!

For the second summer in a row, I vetoed our usual family vacation to Virginia Beach. (See last year's entry containing my fears of a 5+ hour car trip with Chaos & Mayhem followed by spending a week in a one bedroom hotel room with them.) Thus we packed the kids, the dog, seemingly their entire summer wardrobe (still had to do several loads of laundry), the baby sitters (opps... meant to write Nana & Poppop) and headed to their condo in Ocean City, Maryland for a week. Jason immediately put Bree to work setting up the umbrella at the beach.

xoxo
Deb